I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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