I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Of course I have a pirate flag
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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