If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize