Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
