she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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