but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
