I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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