I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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