did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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