We won't sleep together?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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