i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
