I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize