he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
