First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
