Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
