Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize