right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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