Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
