You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
