Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
