So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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