she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize