She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
