Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
