literally had 100 drinks last night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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