Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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