im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
