I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i out mim tonsoeep
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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