How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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