that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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