i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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