I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
