I just cut my nipple shaving
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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