whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
