Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pants are for mortals
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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