Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
