i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
