i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
