if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize