i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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