I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
