Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
