dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
