now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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