Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
