My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
