Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
