grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
