I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
