The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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