I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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