Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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