This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He did a backflip because drugs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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