If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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