So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
