I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
