I hope mine doesn't look like that
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
