Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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