I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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