K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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