Me. At least after what I've been through.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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