I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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