You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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