That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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