I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
