we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
