Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
