yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
